Nightmare
by amani
Summary: In my opinion, Shinji's worst possible nightmare. Only rated PG-13 because of mature understanding capability.


"Nightmare"  
By Amani  
  
All characters and ideas of the series "Neon Genesis Evangelion" are (c) their creator. I take no credit for them.  
  
Empty.  
  
It was all empty.  
  
Shinji stood in his plugsuit, his dark eyes gazing fearfully to the item in front of him. He was almost quivering; his hands were alternately clenching and unclenching, and shivers ran up and down his spine.  
  
No one was there.  
  
No one was in the Geofront.  
  
Empty.  
  
Empty.  
  
Except for two souls.  
  
Shinji Ikari. The designated pilot of Unit-01 of the Evangelion Series. Child of Gendo and Yui Ikari. Current designated guardian: Misato Katsuragi. Current status: alive.  
  
Yui Ikari. The original test pilot of Unit-01 of the Evangelion Series. Reportedly absorbed into the Unit during the original activation test. Mother of Shinji Ikari. Wife of Gendo Ikari. Current status: presumably dead.  
  
The soul.  
  
The soul of Unit-01.  
  
Shinji's terrorized gaze traveled up the armored body. It scared him and calmed him at the same time. Unit-01. His Unit-01. His only source of identification in the world. His only source of praise, from piloting. All he wanted could only come from this...this...thing. Beast. Berserker. Guardian. All those times, protecting. Protecting him. Something in it must care for him. Something in this world must. Something. Anything.  
  
But it was a monster. Ugly. Horrible. It had no soul, all it was, was...something. Something awful. Something so terrible, so hideous, so appalling...it was beautiful. Created by mankind, in mankind's image. Man was repulsive, but beautiful to itself. Did the Eva think it was beautiful?  
  
But the Eva couldn't think it was anything! It wasn't alive!  
  
Shinji grabbed his head, trying to force whatever demon was slicing through his brain out. And that was when it moved.  
  
Unit-01 moved.  
  
It's arm, slowly, moved up its right side. The restraints weren't even a nuisance. They seemed to simply fall away, as if it took no effort to break apart from them. It's hand was huge compared to Shinji, who had fallen back, his eyes wide. "Mother! Mother, what are you doing? Why are you doing this? What did I do?" The hand only approached further.  
  
The young boy scrambled away, off of the platform, back to safe ground. He had to get away. But why was it doing this? Why did it hate him? It was his mother, trapped inside that disgusting body. Did his mother hate him? She had loved him...  
  
Shinji raced to the elevator, hearing the first sound of the Unit. He had heard it roar before. It was a horrible sound, that had just made him want to curl up...curl up and die. Just die.  
  
But he had never heard this. It sounded like a jaguar, a low growl. Like a predator stalking its prey. A mother stalking her son.  
  
Shinji rode the elevator up. He burst out in the control center...the empty control center. "Maya! Shigeru! Hyuga! Anyone!" His screams reached dead air.  
  
Empty.  
  
He felt the bitter tears stroke his face, as he shut his eyes. "Misato! Ritsuko!"  
  
Empty.  
  
"Ayanami! Asuka!"  
  
Empty.  
  
"Father!"  
  
Empty.  
  
"Father! FATHER!"  
  
Empty. Empty.  
  
"MOTHER!"  
  
But his mother was hunting him. His mother hated him, like everyone else.  
  
They had deserted him. Everyone. Anyone he had ever called his friend. He had no friends. The world hated him. All he wanted was acceptance. Love. His mother had loved him...why was she chasing him? Why did she hate him? She was his mother!  
  
"Why do you hate me?! WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!"  
  
He took a step back...and then another. He almost fell over himself, slamming into a corner, and slowly sliding down the smooth metal. His tears burned his skin, like acid. Sweet tears.  
  
He sobbed, the sounds wracking through his body. "Why does the world hate me?"  
  
He felt the pressure. The walls seemed to be closing in on him...  
  
They were! His head jolted with realization. Unit-01 was crushing the Control Center! Shinji was too scared to even twitch. "Why do you want to kill me, mother?" he whispered, sorrow choking his voice. "I thought you loved me..."  
  
And then he saw the eye. Through crushed metal, he could see the blazing eye of Unit-01. Hatred. Hatred was all he could see. Hatred of HIM.  
  
He felt the sharp corners of pointed metal against his arm. "Mother! Don't kill me!" he yelled, trying to stand. "Love me! Don't reject me! Don't abandon me! Accept me! Care for me! MOTHER!"  
  
The fingers tightened.  
  
"MOTHER!"  
  
The fingers tightened around his soul.  
  
"MOTHER!"  
  
They ripped apart the AT field of his soul, ripping into his thoughts, his memories.  
  
"MOTHER!"  
  
Images flashed through his head. Memories. His father abandoning him. He had left him. Left him all alone. He hated him. He hated his own son. Everyone hated him.  
  
"MOTHER!"  
  
More memories: memories of praise. The one praise from his father. Once. The one thing in life he strived for. Once.  
  
"MOTHER!"  
  
The fingers closed.  
  
Shinji burst up from his bed, face soaked in tears. "Mo--" He cut himself off, still sobbing uncontrollably.  
  
He washed his face, already trying to forget the awful memory. Standing in the doorway, and looking at his bed, sheets damp with sweat and tears...he was afraid. He didn't want to return. He didn't want to return to his mind.  
  
He laid down, his entire body trembling with fear. He didn't want his mother to hate him. He didn't want her to hate him, like everyone else. Like his father.  
  
"Good work, Shinji."  



End file.
